A friend of mine tells me that I appear to be suffering from some form of attention deficient syndrome. Or, as he puts it, "Can't you keep your bleeping mind on one project at a time?" It seems that I often get sidetracked; when attempting to do one thing I'll wonder off to start another. This has clearly manifested itself in my car projects.

For starters, I have yet to finish my '62 Corvette, which I started restoring in 1980. I will admit that 22 years on one project does seem a bit excessive. It started as a restoration that turned into a hot rod. It's the car I wanted in high school and could never afford.

Apparently, I still can't afford it. My most recent project has already been going on for two years and it too is beginning to fall into this category. My '72 Suburban is assuming some very bad telltale signs of a project in need! Both vehicles are incredibly close, but...!

I have also been trying to assemble a test chassis here at SRM for the past four years and, while I have a good deal of it rounded up, it too is gathering huge amounts of dust. It's true that the Lakes Modified is up and running with great success but it still has a handful of projects that have yet to be accomplished.

Again, my buddy tells me there's a diagnosis for my condition. Apparently I have A.A.A.D.D., which translates into Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder. You may ask yourself, "How does this dastardly mental virus work?"

Let's say it's time to write my editorial, just like I am doing at this moment--well, at this moment three months ago (when we started this issue). I begin by finding my way from the parking lot to the office where I sit myself comfortably in front of my trusty computer, which is resplendent with my favorite rodding decals. It provides me with a creative, rich environment, from which I may pour forth my insightful, poignant, hard hitting, yet carefully crafted writing. Okay, no laughing.

Sounds simple enough, but the distractions often begin before I can even get to my office. Upon exiting my Zipper Lakes Modified (Did I tell you it's the only car that I own that runs?), I notice the guys heading for morning donuts and coffee. I owe it to my Krispy Kreme stock and myself to consume my daily allocation of enriched flour covered with simple carbohydrates before engaging in any other activity.

In the meantime, I put my cardboard box (briefcase) on the hood of my roadster and continue to Mecca (that would be the donut shop). On the way back to the office I sort through the dozen or so donuts, being careful not to waste time on the lesser ones and to zero in on the jelly filled ones. As a reward for accomplishing my mission, selection of the correct edible, I manage to place myself in the direct line of a jelly-filling projectile coming out the other "hole" in the donut. Within nanoseconds this delicious tasting nectar lands directly on my brand new car shirt. I ignore the immediate discomfort and move onto lunch. Upon getting back from lunch I realize that dessert is on my shirt in the form of uneaten donuts, my shirt has attracted a colony of ants, and I can't find the box of important file bags filled with this month's photos for the life of me. Oh yes, I still haven't written my editorial. Yet, I have been on the move all morning and into the lunch hour and haven't accomplished a damn thing of note. That's A.A.A.D.D. In an attempt to see how other pros overcome this plight I do some research into the newspaper business. There's nothing like the deadline associated with a daily newspaper to keep one on his or her toes. It doesn't take long to find out that there really isn't much of a difference between a newspaper reporter for a big city daily and the staff of good ol' STREET RODDER. They just drink their coffee faster and are noticeably less picky about their dietary habits.

During this information-gathering mode I have come up with some incredible data on the types of people who read big city daily's and I thought you might find it interesting, enlightening, and somewhat entertaining. As a point of reference we all know what type of people read SRM. For the record, readers of SRM are street rod types with an insatiable appetite to know what's the latest in rodding from a technical, car feature, historical, and event perspective. In other words, reading rodders instinctively turn to SRM. Obviously you, our reader, are pretty sharp individuals of higher than average intelligence.

Now, the odds are that many of you will identify with one or more of the papers mentioned. Remember, these are observations gathered by others and shared with me. In other words, don't shoot the messenger!

Did you know that it's often thought that the individuals who read The Wall Street Journal are the very people who run our country? Sounds a bit pompous, but it is probably so. Another significant big city paper hails from the Big Apple, The New York Times, which it's reported is read by people who think they run the country. I can see how that happens. Another well-respected big city daily is The Washington Post, and again, it's reported that the people who read it think they should run the country. Since The Washington Post continually features headlines on how poorly this country is run day after day, I can see their point.

Next up is a favorite, and I don't care what anyone says, I like the color pie charts. It's reported that the USA Today is said to have readers who think they ought to run the country but don't really understand the Washington Post.

The next one is my hometown favorite, although I live 45 miles from my "hometown." The Los Angeles Times is reported to be read by people who wouldn't mind running the country if they could spare the time, and if they didn't have to leave L.A. This one I understand, for why would anyone want to leave a city that has four such unique seasons as Fire, Flood, Earthquake, and Riot?

Lest the world think there is only one good West Coast major metropolitan newspaper we have The San Francisco Chronicle. I find this to be the most entertaining and diverse of the newspapers. This bit of reporting is so good that I have to paraphrase: The San Francisco Chronicle is read by people who aren't sure there is a country, or that anyone is running it; but whoever it is, they oppose all that they stand for. There are occasional exceptions if the leaders are feminist, atheist, or illegal aliens from any country or galaxy as long as they are democrats. Hey, I said it was a quote, don't take it out on me.

Finally, we get to my newspaper. People who are running another country, but need the baseball scores read the Miami Herald. Finally a newspaper that makes sense. I can identify with that. Oh, I really do need to finish this project before starting another.